


I don't know how to set a table, Steve

by Superheronerd_1



Category: Avengers, stony - Fandom
Genre: F/M, Fem!Tony Stark - Freeform, First Kiss, M/M, genderbender, just a prompt thing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-07
Updated: 2014-07-07
Packaged: 2018-02-07 19:59:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1911852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Superheronerd_1/pseuds/Superheronerd_1
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony wasn't the perfect women.<br/>She swears to much, she couldnt get chapstick on evenly and she just fails in every female thing possible.<br/>She doesn't even know how to set a table</p>
            </blockquote>





	I don't know how to set a table, Steve

Tony knows that she's not the perfect picture of was a female should be. 

Women -especially in her line of business- should be graceful, elegant, have a clean mouth. 

But Tony?

No, she swears too much, she wears baggy jeans and crappy shirts, her hair is always in a mess, and she doesn't even know how to set a table. 

But she never cared about that, always thought that other people could fuck off if they had a problem with her. 

She never cared before, never. 

Then Steve Rogers came into view.

She knew off the bat that she was already too much for him. She was loud, energetic, and if she knew she was right she was saying out loud that the other person was wrong, feelings be damned.

Steve was used to women who were soft and gentle, who wore dresses and skirts and had their hair done and make-up perfect. Tony was lucky if she managed to put on chapstick evenly.

But, despite the fact that she was everything he didn't grow up with, Steve and her managed to be close friends, best friends (sorry Pep).

Then again, Steve thinks their best friends. Tony would have no problem about moving things forward. 

She wouldn't dare ask for a relationship, because she's honestly not that hope full. Maybe more of a thing where neither of them get into a relationship with other people because they have a thing.

And she would have thought it worked but then Natasha came into view.

Don't get her wrong, she does like Natasha. Even though her rack is Mt.Everest compared to her own Mt.B-Cup.

Even if Natasha's chest is full, no scars. No skin to cover wear a reactor was, it wasn't ugly and just plain eerie to look at.

Even if she's petite as hell with legs that go forever compared to her legs which her mother nick-named "Tree stumps" because they were mostly muscle, even tho Nat looks sexy with a brush of her hand and Tony needs 3 hours and Pepper to somehow resemble a female in charge of a company. Hell, she can set a table.

"Tony."

And okay, she's beautiful and probably reminds Steve of his time, but she can't be that awesome right?

"Tony."

Steve isn't replacing Tony with Natasha, she knows that.

"Victoria!"

"What?" She snapped back.

Pep was steaming from where she was sitting in the car. Happy was driving, smirking. He looked in the mirror and caught Tony's eye and winked.

Asshole.

"You had no idea what you just did, did you?"

"What you mean back there?" she pointed towards the company. "As a matter of fact, I did."

They pulled up to the Mansion (tower currently being rebuilt). Tony was never so grateful of having the company so close to home.

She got out the door right before it stopped, unbuttoning her dark blue blazer and throwing it in the general area of the coat rack, rucking off her white button shirt letting her undershirt free.

"Tony where are you going?"

She tracked across the hall, going towards the shop. She was zipping off her dress pants, shoes long gone. She grabbed her bunchy jeans.

"Don't you dare walk into that shop! We need to talk about this."

Tony turned, pants off and now only in her purple lacy panties (just because she doesn't dress all elegant on the outside doesn't mean her primary areas need to suffer) and stuck one foot into the jeans.

(This is something she does often, and Pep has seen her naked plenty of times and so stripping off her Victoria Stark and transforming into Tony Stark is just second nature, and she almost always has a pair of jeans lying somewhere around this place.)

"No Pep, I was doing the right thing. I'm not going to work with some egotistical prick."

"Your a egotistical prick." 

"Guys?"

Both women turned towards the archway where Steve and Clint were.

And Tony only had one leg in the jeans, panties still out and showing.

She looked down then up. "See? This is why we need to keep our arguments between us deary. I hate fighting in front of the children."

Pep took off her jacket and hung it in front of Tony. "You have people living here, do you have any shame?"

"My house," she finally had her jeans all the way up and buttoned."No shame." She leaned over and kissed Pep's cheek. "Thank you darling, I do love when you get protective of me."

Clint smiled and leaned against the arch. "Feel free to less shame, Beautiful."

Wrong female hero.

She smiled "I'll try." She glanced at Steve, who-

Wasn't there.

She turned and went down to the workshop, finding clean socks and her sneakers on the way down.

_____

 

I get knocked down, but I get up again, you won't ever keep me down.

She grabbed the wrench and started to get the loosen up the spark plugs.

"Tony?"

She jumped, hitting her head on the roof if the car. "Fucking eh."

"You okay?" Hands went over her back, gripping her upper arms. "Tony?"

"Yeah Steve, I'll be fine." She rubbed her head.

Steve let one hand go and lifted it to her hair (messy and had motor oil in it), finding the spot she hit her head. She hissed when he found the spot. "You might have a bump."

"Thanks Captain Obvious."

That's exactly how you win a man's affections. Insult them.

Well, if he takes that as a insult he's a pussy.

But he smiled.

He hadn't let go yet, hand still rubbing the bump (and motor oil), still gripping her upper arm. She was getting antsy.

"So whats the reason you came down?" She turned from him, going to the towel station and attempts to wipe off the oil. 

He shrugged. "I thought maybe you could use some help."

Car buddies.

She smiled and pointed towards the spark plugs. "Feel free to start taking those out."

 

____

 

It was around 4 in the morning when she crawled out the shop.

Motor oil here, regular oil there, and to top it off a big black smudge from her right ear to the corner of her mouth.

Where's playboy?

She needed sleep, shower, and food, reverse order.

No one was the kitchen when she hunted down for her prey, finding some leftover Chinese food.

Thank, god.

She had a carton of orange chicken in the microwave, waiting now. She tapped her sneaker against the wooden floor.

"Stop that."

Tony jumped, almost spilling her drink and she turned, narrowing her eyes at Natasha. "Would you care to stop that? It was cute for the first few times but now it's just an obstacle that I could live without."

Nat tilted her head. "Sorry, I was just walking in."

"Well, you should put a bell on it something to that effect. Most people stomp or walk with a thump, but you are just all air air air. I bet you just float." Tony sipped some of her drink.

Nat shook her head, grabbing a 'room temp.' water bottle (who even drinks warm water). "Purple your favorite color?"

"Huh?" The microwave dinged and she pulled out orange chicken. Her hands were used to burns and so the slight sting the hit food had didn't give her pain (another difference between Nat and herself- Natasha had soft hands, Tony's were calloused, rough, and her nails and tops of fingers were permanently stained from years of working on cars and with fire).

"Barton told me about the purple panties."

Oh.

She shrugged. "Purple looks good on me, and I have no regrets. I'm sure he told you about the My house, no shame rule. Feel free to use that rule, all of you. Of course, I would appreciate it if you guys hid your primary areas with something. As much as I appreciate the human body, I don't need to see vaginas and penises everywhere."

Please don't use that rule. Your body already shows enough without skin showing.

"No thank you." She smiled tho. "I think Steve likes your body more than mine."

Tony paused mid-way orange chicken. "Excuse me?"

Nat leaned against the counter. "Steve would probably appreciate your body versus mine."

Yes, the sexy body against the mechanics body. I wonder who would win.

Tony started to walk out of the kitchen. "And here is the body talk I was dying to never had, so good talk."

She was gone and half-way she realized she forgot her drink.

Mother Fucker.

 

_____

 

"I'm not going alone."

"Have Happy take you."

"He's won't integrate work with fun."

"You've gone alone before."

Tony picked up a book and tossed it. "But usually it's when you're there and I can piggy back with you."

Pep sighed from the couch.

Clint look up from his phone. "Can't you just go outside and ask a good looking guy to come with you?"

Tony sighed. "I'm not Grand Central Station, you can't just come in me and hop off." She smiled and winked at him.

Clint was awesome, he really was. If she didn't have the thing for Steve she would sure as hell go after him. 

Bet he wouldn't care I can't set a table.

He smiled.

"You want to come with me?"

He looked over at her. "What, your not going to go down on one knee?"

"Oh I'm sorry." She cleared her throat. "Do you want to fucking come or not."

Clint rubbed his chin, pretending to think about it. "Perhaps..." He made a face. "Shit, no. I can't. I don't have a reason, I just don't want too."

Tony leaned back against the chair. "Fuck you."

Steve walked in at beginning of Fuck. "What's the matter now?"

Tony looked up. "You have anything planned today?"

He sat down on the couch. "Not that I know of."

"You want to come with some Gala I have tonight. I''ll pay."

He tilted his head. "Alright."

She perked up. "Really?"

"Yeah, sure."

Praise the lord and baby fucking Jesus.

"Okay, it starts at 7 so we're leaving at 8 to get there by 8:30." She stood, looking at the clock. "So you have 3 hours to get into someone society loves. Do you even own a suit? Have someone get a suit you up to be part of this century..." She trailed off.

Well this is going to be fun.

 

\--------

Steve looked amazing.

Better than that, he looked like that type that Tony would put sports on and ride his dick.

He gave her a glance down, stopping at her feet. "How are you able to walk in those things." 

She looked down, heels that she would gladly not wear but has too. They were the black wedges Pep gave her to wear with the short purple (of course) dress to wear. "I can defy gravity."

She hiked the top up a little, enough to cover the scars.

A whistle shot through the hall. "Whew, Victoria."

Tony turned and glared at Clint. "Its Tony."

Clint stepped down the stairs and put one arm around her. "Not tonite, pretty thing."he leaned in. "Is the offer to go still open?"

"Nope."Steve flicked Clint's arm off and pulled Tony to his side. "You lost that when you said no." And he smirked.

Since when does Steve smirk?

Tony looked down real quick,not noticing anything really pretty. Okay, so theres more leg, but those weren't petite but muscle (Tree stumps). The dress stopped midway down her thighs, and she had straps so no shoulder was showing.

She concluded that Steve was just being nice. 

 

"So are we going to go or not?" She slipped out the hold and was going out the door, Happy waiting in the car. "We can't be any more late, the entrance won't see me." 

Happy nodded as she got in. "Nice outfit."

"Nice face."

That was horrible Tony. You can do better.

Steve slid in next to her, shutting the door. "He is right you know." He gave her a once over. "Is purple just your favorite color?"

She shrugged. "It looks good on me."

\----

 

Steve was a amazing guy.

He gripped her arm walking in, didn't glare at the cameras, didn't yell "Shit" when a drink was spilled on them, hell he even got Tony napkins to wipe off before he wiped himself.

Tony really shouldn't have brought him here, should have brought Clint or Pep or even alone and she would have been feeling happy instead guilty and-

"Tony." 

She felt a warm hand on her shoulder. She turned. "Hmm?"

Steve smiled, hair still wet with whatever drink got spilled on them. "You okay? I lost you there for a second."

Tony sighed and sat back. "Yeah, I'm fine." She looked towards the center of the room (what is this gala event for?) And watched the other people have fun.

"Wanna dance?"

She looked at Steve. "I can't, I have no idea how too."

Perfect women you are, aren't you Tony?

Steve stood up and grabbed her hand, pulling her up too. "I can teach you."

She tried to pull away but she couldn't, so she sighed and followed him. "Alright, but you're paying the hospital bills."

She was wrong.

She could dance as long as she stuck to Steve like this.

His hand was gripping hers, arm around her waist (and she swore she felt it go lower and lower with each song). Steve was tall, 6'2'' to her 5'9'' and so he told her to out her head on his shoulder and they justed weaved around for a few songs.

She breathed in, smell of Old Spice and laundry detergent filling her nostrils. She sighed.

Steve pulled her closer, resting his cheek on top her head.

And thats when her heart decided to beat too fast.

She didn't get why it happened to her, honestly. It was better thanks to Harley (who she may or may not be following and sending new updates on machines and writing to via snail mail because for a kid he really likes the old ways). She doesn't even know what triggers it, it just happens and-

And this is different.

She doesn't have that need to flee the room, to find a cozy blanket to just sit and tinker with a toy or go and hide in a Iron Maiden suit. She felt her heart beat, yes,and her palms were still clammy but her stomach was fluttering and her face felt to hot-

Oh.

Oh.

This is what it's like to really care about someone, isn't it? That's what it feels like to just want to be with a person forever and want to snap at everyone who comes near that significant person because she wants Steve for her.

Steve felt the jump of her heart somehow. "You okay?" He whispered.

Dammit Dammit Dammit.

Why now, why of all places?

Her throat was all tied up, tongue too big for her mouth it felt like. So she curled the hand in the back of Steve's jacket and little tighter and nodded her head.

Steve rubbed her back, silent for a bit and then said "You feel it too?"

She was silent, not sure what he meant. 

"That heart jump? I'll admit that it scared me too. It was a little early, you know? It was when I went with you to the car shop, and you were buying tools and glared at the man who asked if you knew what you were buying. Remember?"

Tony did. The guy was a total fucker.

"You gave him a look, one that made me think Iron Maiden was going to come out at any moment, and said "Listen you little shit, just because I don't have a dick doesn't mean I don't know what I'm fucking doing. I've built things you wouldn't even be able to read the blueprints too, so I suggest you shut your mouth before I shove this socket wrench up your ass.""

Tony was surprised, because she wa sure that was word for word of what she said.

"Why are you telling me this?" She murmured against his neck.

Steve shifted her back, bring the hand he was holding hers in towards them. "Because you finally got that jump."

She thought of Natasha, of how they get along so well, how her and Steve get along like Tony and Clint do.

"At first, I thought it was you and Mrs.Pots, then you and Clint. I really didn't like Clint for while. Then I realized, over time, you trusted me. You didn't talk like you do with me. Your open with me."

Tony looked up, eyes focused on his blonde eyebrows as he tried to focus on her eyes. "You sure about all this? You could just be hallucinating from the drink, it could have been poisoned. I'm not exactly the poster child of women. You're probably used to females who like skirts and dresses, who can wear heels without slipping and can wear makeup without looking like Chucky the clown. Hell Steve, I can't even set a god damn table." She gave a breathy laugh, ironic smile on her lips. "And in case you haven't noticed, I don't exactly have the cleanest mouth."

Steve gripped her cheeks, forcing her to look into his eyes. "Who ever said I wanted a picture perfect women? Why would I want someone who tries to play to the stereotypes when there is someone so amazing right here. I like that you don't put makeup on, I like that I can see your face. I don't care if you can set a table or not, because why would so expect you too when I can't? Why should I expect anything ordinary, when you're so extraordinary?"

He leaned in closer, lips just about to touch hers.

"And honestly? I've been thinking about your 'dirty' mouth for awhile."

Well fuck me, you should have started with that.

She took the next step and kissed him, soft lips and holy shit that's his tongue, right there and does he really think that he can win this because really needs to step down.

She opened her mouth and automatically out her tongue next to his, hands gripping his shoulders and fuck fuck fuck-

"Please stop." 

Tony pulled away and looked at Happy. "This is not the time."

She looked at Steve, red lips flushed cheeks. He looked at her, focussing on her mouth. 

That was when she felt a not-so-little bump growing on her stomach.

Really like my dirty mouth huh?

 

Now that Tony thought about it, she doesn't need to know what a table setting is suppose to look like. Steve likes her, so thats okay. And Natasha is pretty, beautiful, sexy, and always will be, but she doesn't need to believe Steve when he calls her that. 

Because she thinks she's awesome, and for some reason he likes her personality.


End file.
